I release all demands and expectations that keep me in judgement
The work of personal development is a constant opportunity for self-reflection. It is a journey of continuous evolution and one that allows each of us to simply be the witness and leave the judge and jury to a higher power. Expectations of others are the cause of so much disappointment and frustration, especially when the expectation requires someone else to be responsible for your joy and happiness- and what about those demands? the insistent request as if made by right – by the righteous. The question then becomes am I the witness or the judge and jury?
What do you do with judgement when you can feel it coming from another? Do you get defensive or angry? or do you get combative and aggressive? Do you shrink and disappear or fight back? All of these are responses that some would call completely justifiable, however when you get to a place where you can see that the one judging is the one to have compassion for – it changes everything.
There was a lady who’s son was in constant trouble, she tried to teach him right from wrong and good from bad, although somehow he always had a way to find trouble and he always placed the blame outside of himself. They did this or they did that, he unfortunately never took responsibility for his actions. The lady was depressed, she was mortified that her son continued to make unhealthy choices and she felt responsible for actions. Now that he had added drugs to his list of bad habits, she was at her wits end and it was killing her- literally. She was getting sick to the point of risking her own health, much of it caused by self doubt, self judgement and huge disappointment.
From the outsider looking in, these two were a hot mess- there was judgement and condemnation added to an expectation that the lady should have forced her son to make better choices. The judge and jury were out building their case and it looked as though it would be a life sentence and a self fulfilling prophecy of cyclical abuse.
The witness however, took a different perspective. The witness chose to have a heart and eyes of compassion. The witness wondered what the boy was running from and realized that the boy was suffering from a masculine wound. It’s the kind of wound that is created in a boys informative years. It’s the kind of wound that is created from a message from another man that you don’t measure up and you’re not good enough. Its the kind of wound that one attempts to fill with pleasure because the pain is so deep- and once a boy begins the process of numbing the pain with drugs, the road is almost always devastation.
The witness knew that there was only one solution for the healing of a masculine wound and encouraged the lady and young man to seek answers at the “The Table”. You see, the founder of “The Table” understood that only masculine energy could heal a masculine wound, and try as she might his mother could cry, plead and beg for change and change would never come.
The boy, now a young man took a seat at “The Table”. He learned about a power that resided in him. He learned about the way of the warrior, the importance of standing with men of purpose and little by little his healing had begun. You see condemnation by the judge and jury is never the solution. It is the unconditional love of the father, our father who heals all things. Our opportunity every day is to co-operate with the power of love, to let it inform our thoughts, impress upon our actions and to wash over every place of unworthiness.
Today I resolve to see with eyes of compassion for myself and others. To be the witness and to draw a line in the sand for all the ways that I will show up in honesty and integrity. Today I resolve to be the leader that others would follow because I lead with integrity, purpose and ONEness.