for my relationships (I accept full and total responsibility)
Relationships give us the perfect opportunity for learning so much about ourselves, if we are willing to authentically explore this area of our lives and ourselves, we will come to learn where we are weak and vulnerable, where we are overbearing and impulsive, where we are loving and nurturing, where we withhold and where we are generous. An intimate relationship that has a foundation of trust and respect and one that is honest and real- will be one of the greatest experiences we will ever have.
Rest assure that we will feel every emotion in our relationships, the high’s and the low’s, right and wrong, the good the bad and the ugly– the full spectrum. I believe that the gift of a relationship that can withstand the full experience of obstacles, adversity, challenge and forgiveness is an intimacy with a depth of love that not everyone experiences.
You see, we are so quick to call the game. So quick to judge and think that everything must look a particular way, some think that it’s all black and white and the truth is that it’s not really anything until we add our story to it, until we name it judge it or give meaning to it. Our perspective, our outlook and our thought process will determine how deep we can love, how easily we can accept, how often we will be vulnerable and how much of an impact we will have in our own lives and in the lives of others. If our perspective is old and outdated, if it belongs to someone else or if we are on auto-pilot most of our lives, its almost certain that we will have a victim perspective and feel like life is happening to us and that we don’t have much or any control of the circumstances of our lives.
The flip side of that is 100% responsibility. I will choose to look within, I will pay attention to the things, people and words that “trigger” me because I understand that this is where my own healing will take place- and there really is no crystal ball, magic pill or prescription that will do the work for me. In fact, it’s a life-long process of letting go. Letting go of the idea that someone else is responsible for my happiness or success, letting go of the idea that that relationships must look a certain way, letting go of the idea that he or she must act or be a certain way in order for me to be ok.
In this process of going inward, we do need to recognize that birds of a feather flock together and that not everyone is equally yoked, in other words; we are all in different levels of understanding, experience and results AND if I am ready to reach new heights in my personal and professional relationships, I must be willing to take an inventory of those who are currently in my life. Who are the ones that lift me up and see me bigger than I see myself? Who is holding me accountable? Who doesn’t accept my excuses and calls me on my BS? Who are those who make excuses for me? Who encourage me in the opposite direction of my dreams and desires. Not good, bad, right or wrong- just an inventory.
It is one thing to be oblivious to it, and it is another to take 100% responsibility and to consciously choose who I will surround myself with. And what about the relationship I have with myself? Where am I arguing for my own limitations? Where in my life am I getting out of the box and being uncomfortable? Growth and expansion does not happen in our comfort zone.
Today I choose to take an inventory of my relationships. How will I express my love and gratitude to those I want to have a closer relationship with? Who will be my fox hole buddy and hold me accountable? What will I do for myself; for my own health and wellbeing? Where will I contribute and how will I make a difference? I am committed to creating happy, healthy and harmonious relationships in my life. I will focus on being the very best version of me and allow grace to bring new and supportive relationships into my life.