The work of personal development is a constant opportunity for self-reflection. It is a journey of continuous evolution, and one that
allows each of us to simply be the witness and leave the judge and jury to a higher power. Expectations of others are the cause of so much disappointment and frustration, especially when the expectation requires someone else to be responsible for your joy and happiness.
And what about the demands others place on us? The insistent request as if made by right—by the righteous. The question then
becomes am I the witness or the judge and jury? What do you do with judgement when you can feel it coming from another? Do you get defensive or angry? or do you get combative and aggressive? Do you shrink and disappear or fight back? All of these are responses that some would call completely justifiable; however when you get to a place where you can see that the one judging is the
one to have compassion for, it changes everything.
There was a lady whose son was in constant trouble. She tried to teach him right from wrong and good from bad, although somehow
he always had a way to find trouble and he always placed the blame outside of himself. They did this, or they did that—he unfortunately never took responsibility for his actions. The lady was depressed, she was mortified that her son continued to make unhealthy choices, and she felt responsible for actions. Now that he had added drugs to his list of bad habits, she was at her wits end, and it was killing her—literally. She was getting sick to the point of risking her own health, much of it caused by self-doubt, self-judgment, and huge disappointment.
From the outside looking in, these two were a hot mess. There was judgment and condemnation added to an expectation that the
lady should have forced her son to make better choices. The judge and jury were out building their case, and it looked as though it would be a life sentence and a self-fulfilling prophecy of cyclical abuse.
The witness, however, took a different perspective. The witness chose to have a heart and eyes of compassion. The witness wondered
what the boy was running from and realized that the boy was suffering from a masculine wound. It’s the kind of wound that is created in a boy’s informative years. It’s the kind of wound that is created from a message from another man that you don’t measure up and you’re not good enough. It’s the kind of wound that one attempts to fill with pleasure because the pain is so deep. And once a boy begins the process of numbing the pain with drugs, the road is almost always devastation.
The witness knew that there was only one solution for the healing of a masculine wound and encouraged the lady and young man to seek answers at the “The Table.” You see, the founder of “The Table” understood that only masculine energy could heal a masculine
wound, and try as she might his mother could cry, plead, and beg for change and change would never come. The boy, now a young man, took a seat at “The Table.” He learned about a power that resided in him. He learned about the way of the warrior, the importance of standing with men of purpose, and little by little his healing had begun.
You see condemnation by the judge and jury is never the solution. It is the unconditional love of the father, our father who heals all things. Our opportunity every day is to cooperate with the power of love, to let it inform our thoughts, impress upon our actions, and to wash over every place of unworthiness.
Today, I resolve to see with eyes of compassion for myself and others. To be the witness and to draw a line in the sand for all the
ways that I will show up in honesty and integrity. Today, I resolve to be the leader that others would follow because I lead with integrity, purpose and ONEness.